then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Vodka?
Forever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
