Got a toothbrush?
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
