so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
