They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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