dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
