i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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