Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
