Having a random hookup so left but love u
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Every concussion has its silver lining
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
