Please, let me fuck your mom
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
