I must be too annoying 4 u.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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