Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
