Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
