What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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