I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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