You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize