break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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