woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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