Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize