Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
