That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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