BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
