I bet he comes in French.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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