my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
