You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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