Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
