do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize