I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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