I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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