He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
