I hate your face
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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