so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
