day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
