Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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