You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
