well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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