break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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