Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
