I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
