So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
