no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
