Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
