ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
