So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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