only if we run a train.
done.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
