you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
