What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
