Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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