He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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