Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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