After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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