just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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