census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
