At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
