He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
