Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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