I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
