Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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