shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
