so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
