Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
