Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
