Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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